I experienced a very sad and heart breaking experience as a child… I was shocked into the awakening that “Santa isn’t real”, at least not in the way I thought. We all come to awaken to this truth at one point or another in our lives, but I took it harder than most because I was older than most. It broke my spirit… and all life seemed dull after. Without magic, I felt depressed. Ya’ll, I was near 12 years old, well into middle school, and I was horrified and embarrassed to realize that the mythical tale of a man with reindeer flying through the sky with an endless bag of presents like Mary Poppins who could bend time wasn't actually the reality of the situation.
Laugh if you want, but I don’t care now because this is a vital part of my awakening journey. It caused me to want to seek out magic and heal that wound because I had become a grinch in life… I hated Christmas, and to hate isn’t healthy. Each year, I would groan and get triggered by anything Christmas, especially the thought of presents being labeled as “from Santa”. It’s been a really painful part of my life to say the least.
To heal this wound, I started working with the Word Medicine:
-I easily return to experiencing in healthy ways what it was like when the world still felt magical, and I had not had my innocence broken.
-I retain and heal my innocence in healthy ways.
-Life is still magical, and I know where and how to find magic.
-I know the difference between fake magic like the tooth fairy and Santa, and real magic that underlies all things as the basis of our existence.
I then came to realize:
-I find magic in the clouds as I watch them swirl and change shape.
-I find magic in an acorn hat that I place on my dog's head and laugh.
-I find magic in laughter.
-Magic is in not rushing, slowing down, and exploring for the sake of curiosity.
-I find magic in staying curious!
-I can easily find the magic in everything!
I then had the understanding that just like one’s heart can be “broken” so can our other chakras, and it was revealed to me that one’s loss of innocence in magic is similar to being cut off from Source Energy, to the “magic” essence that underlies all things. This is associated with one’s Soul Star chakra, above one’s crown within their aura. I then started working with:
-I heal my soul star chakra. It's not broken like a heart can feel broken.
Then, this poured out of me:
“Going through my childhood Santa and tooth fairy letters, I remember that my parents are magical, especially my mother ✨️🙏 I don't blame her or my family for the pain I experienced when I found out Santa wasn't ‘real’.
My innocence isn't broken now. I remember magic and see how we create magic for each other, and that's really sweet 🥰 I was just really embarrassed to feel 'so old' when I finally accepted that Santa wasn’t ‘real’. So I got really mad at life. It hurt a lot to feel cut off from magic! I've fully remembered and have been learning over these past 2 years that I'm not cut off from magic. I still hold it in my hands, and can easily give it to others.
-I am magic, and I easily give magic to others.
-My Santa wound is healed 🙌🙏
-I can be a Santa now!
-I don't hate Christmas because I see it for what it truly is.
-I am no longer a Grinch… I am a Santa.
-Because I am a Santa, I easily help others awaken to the magic!”
I feel free, unburdened, like I can truly smile with a twinkle in my eye for real now 🙌 Oh Santa, how I love thee! It's time to create a new relationship with Christmas now ✨️🙏🤍